The Amazing Escapades of Matthew B Chown
by Inlaidflyer
Summary: A short story about a friend who loves anime so I thought why not make it funny. This story follows the life of one Matthew Chown one fateful day when his life is given a whole new purpose, to create the master race.


The amazing escapades of Matthew B. Chown

Matthew Chown was an amazingly huge faggot from Queanbeyan who's main hobbies involved sucking dicks (huge ones, fat ones – dicks are sick) and watching anime. One day Matthew found himself with a spare moment between dick suckings and decided he was "going to do an internet" and thusly jumped head first into his Mac... which promptly broke and Matt landed head first on the floor snapping his neck, just then Haruhi and Holo burst into the room landing in a heap in the doorway followed by a group of Nazis. "No Holo" Matt gurgled as saliva dribbled from his chin onto the floor "where is crafty Craft Lawrence he will saves jew" he continued on "And Haruhi what are you doing with this douche-fag Matt said helplessly flailing his limbs around like a Magikarp on crack cocaine. "I loved-ed you why are you not in my puters posing and looking..." Matt broke off long enough to position himself between her legs "FABULOUS!" to which Haruhi promptly hissed and revealed her true form to be the servile from the zoo Matt and his mad dawg friends from Forbes visited a month ago. The servile scratched Matt on the face and hissed angrily at him while still maintaining its Haruhi costume it was still wearing which turned Matt on only that much more because of his furry fetish he still believes is secret to the rest of the world. Matt tried his hurderest to hide his now rising and raging erection with fruitless results. The Nazis saw his erection and stripped Holo naked and commanded they breed and propagate the master race of wolf/human hybrids. Matt looked at them inquisitively as if to say "are you serious? FUCK YES I WILL!" Matt then proceeded to fuck Holo when crafty Craft Lawrence burst through the doorway eliminating two of the three Nazis holding them all hostage just as he recovered from bursting through the door he was greeted with a gun pointed at his head, "Don't move or I will blow zien head off", Lawrence played along for a while, watching his love being fucked by this massive faggot who was flailing like a dipshit he had only just met until finally he had had enough and tried his only chance of escape... smacking the Nazi in the balls. He prepared himself mentally and physically for the worst and made a swift... what a fuckwit, the Nazi shot him square in the face... but his hand flew on, smacking the nazi square in the dick "NIEN, NIEN, NIEN" the Nazi wheezed cradling his injured testicles. The pain grew and grew until finally the Nazi couldn't bear it so he shot himself in the head. The bullet ricocheted off the kettle and killed the servile Haruhi impostor but Matt took no notice of these happening and continued fucking until finally he blew his load in Holo... Unfortunately Matt being the fuckwit he is spilled some of his semen leaving it to land and mix with the oxygen in the room resulting in a massive explosion only Matt could survive... he cried like a bitch for ruining the master race.

The End?

Matt whined and moaned for hours before rejecting to accept he had destroyed THE master race and decided to recruit the help of his friend Martin who, being a student of forensic science, Matt immediately assumed he was a wiz at biology and more specifically genetic engineering and could help him manufacture the true master race using a woman-cat hybrid Matt had been thinking about for quite some time. Matt drove to Martin's home and skipped merrily to the door, the contract he drafted minutes ago in traffic which would assure Martin had to help engineer this new breed of "ossum", as Matt described, it in hand. He rang the doorbell with a large shit-smeared grin clutching his document firmly in his hand as he waited for a reply. Martin answered the door, wiping the sleep from his eyes from his Irish drunkenness from the night before. "Yeah Matt what do you want it's like 12" Martin asked with the smell of Guinness and potatoes on his breath. "Martin! I need your help with something, something big." Matt spoke excitedly forcing his shitily written contract upon Martin who resentfully took and read over that shit stopping to re-read every second word which appeared in his drunken haze to say "DRINK MORE FUCKING BEER YOU PUSSAY!". Matt asked Martin what he thought of it to which Martin replied "What the fuck Matt ? that made no sense... okay I'll help" "Yipee" Matt squealed in an incredibly kawii voice.

Matt and Martin ran gleefully into Martins' secret lab. "So Matt what's the name of this plan?" "Name of what now?" Matt said stupidly "Oh the thing we're doing ummm Operation N.E.K.O" "N.E.K.O?" asked Martin "What's that stand for?" "Newly Engineered Khosen Ones otherwise known as the master race. The K is to make it seem hip and cool" said Matt vigorously masturbating at the idea of his new genetically engineered master race. "Geez Matt put your junk away ya protestant bastard" Martin said turning away to start the process of engineering the new race. "Give me 20 minutes and you'll have all you need to start propagation of your master race Matt" Martin said "Just a few tweaks to the system aaaannnd done. There you go Matt" Martin said as he walked over to a chamber located in the corner of his lab. The chamber had a small viewing window on the front which was clouded from the smoke from all the science happening inside. The chamber began to slowly unveil Martin's "greatest success" since giving his pet monkey beer and a bong to see the effects. Matt made his way over just in time, his penis still scraping against his bare thigh and his pants on the other side of the room. "WOOHOO I love you Martin" Matt said rushing to Martin's side to give him a hug. Wo, wo, wo Matt where the fuck are your pants" Martin said side stepping Matt causing him to land in a heap on the floor, quickly recovering to thank Martin and claim his new master race. "Hold up Matt. Aren't you forgetting something" Martin inquired holding hand out as if expecting some sort of payment. "What? FUCK YOU MARTIN I HAVE NO MONEY I WORK AT COLES!" Matt exclaimed claiming the creature and running away to his home to fuck and propagate with it. "Hey get back... oh fuck it I'm to drunk for this shit" Martin sighed hopelessly and went back to his room to sleep until he felt he could drink again... or feel his legs.

Matt, being the Australian equivalent of an Ethiopian on crack at this point, made his way home on in an amazingly short time and laid his new pet on his bed. Before leaving Martins' place he reclaimed his pants only to be annoyed that he had as he just realized he would just end up ripping them off for yet another hyped up fuckfest. He started to take off his pants slowly and in a manner he thought was quite sexy, not that it mattered to the NEKO it was engineered to be a total nympho and just wanted to fuck the shit out of Matt in order to follow it's genetic programming and purpose in life of propagation of its race. The NEKO waited patiently for a while as Matt took his sweet time removing his clothes and providing his own shitty porno-esk music and sound affects at which point the NEKO decided to take control of the situation and began tearing Matts' clothes to shreds followed by an insane fucking fuckfest where they fucked long and hard, on and off, for hours. The NEKO needless to say fell pregnant almost immediately after the first fucking she gave birth to a litter of NEKO lolis who then almost found mates and continued the spread of the NEKO race. And that is the story of how one retard gave way to our NEKO overlords today and hence the bestest day of the week, Caturday.


End file.
